Life after depression

Going through difficult stages of life can be wearying and emotionally draining, sometimes our bodies are so focused on survival that we can’t see what’s in front of us with clarity. When your body and mind shift to survival mode, you may abandon logic or lack the energy to make sense of things. A couple of years ago, I approached my recovery period following a few years of depression. An occurrence like this will shift your perspective on a variety of things in life, it may even influence a change in beliefs and an overall attitude towards life. A lot of healing is necessary to move forward with one’s life following extensive stages of immeasurable anxiety. Needless to say, it’s incredibly challenging to let go of old habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms that you may have relied on during those times. This may include things such as self-sabotage, isolation, distrust, people-pleasing, etc.

I unexpectedly stumbled upon a podcast online, so I gave it a go. The podcast was called “On Being,” it discusses all kinds of experiences people go through in their lifetime. It features Krista Tippet, the host, and selected guests that go on to share notable moments and lessons from their lives.

They cover topics concerned with spiritual inquiry, science, social healing, and the arts. The radio show conducts its work by discussing human experiences, the use of practical tools, and accompaniment. Their goal is to influence human change which will allow for social transformation. The guests that join the radio show are considered creatives, healers, and changemakers throughout various disciplines. 

I happened to listen to one of the episodes where a guest speaker discussed the agonizing period of depression he had gone through after losing a family member. The way in which he had discussed the void, hollow, and soulless sensation that comes with it caught my attention. Both the host and the guest began to discuss the aftermath of depression, the things one may acquire from it. What piqued my curiosity was the realization that this dreadful event had actually taught me numerous things and reformed my behavior entirely. I began to think about the way I react to things now, how my energy had dipped. I no longer find myself expressing my emotions as thoroughly as before, or reacting to things too quickly. I only allow myself to react if I feel as though it is worth my time and energy. This can be a good or bad thing, it depends on the way you look at it. I began to appreciate my emotional growth, depth of understanding, and greater empathy towards others. I also began to notice the areas where I grew to become more defensive, usually due to internal wounds that I haven’t given the time or effort to heal.

Overall, after going through multiple episodes of the On Being podcast, I found that it helped me understand depression better and the changes that come with it. I would advise listening to it if you find yourself absorbed in areas regarding spirituality, poetry, social justice, religion, healing, and any sort of eye-opening conversation.